When I found out I was going to be a mom for the first time, the emotions were overwhelming I was excited, beyond excited, but also a little nervous. Everyone tells you that life will change when you have a child, but nothing can really prepare you for how much it will actually transform you. I thought I knew what to expect, but I was in for a ride that I never could have imagined.
The moment I first held Alyssa was everything and nothing like I thought it would be. I’ll never forget the room, it was filled with an emotional whirlwind. The joy and awe of holding my newborn daughter for the first time was paired with a mix of uncertainty and nerves. It was a moment of pure love, and yet, a moment of quiet realization that my life would never be the same again. That tiny little being in my arms would change everything I thought I knew about the world and about myself.
Looking back, I realize that becoming a mom didn’t change my life in the way people typically expect. It wasn’t about suddenly getting my act together or becoming someone else it was more like peeling back layers I didn’t even know existed. Motherhood helped me begin healing from past traumas I had tucked away, and in that sense, it was a second chance. Alyssa became the reason I had to keep going, the motivation to push through the tough moments, and the reminder that love could be pure and unconditional. She became my reason to smile even on the hard days.
If I could go back to that moment when I first found out I was going to be a mom, I would tell myself “There’s no need to be nervous. You’ve got this. You are more than capable of being everything she needs.” It’s funny how, in those early days of motherhood, you feel so unsure. But the truth is, you figure it out as you go along. You learn from your kids, from your own mistakes, and from the love that they bring into your life.
Alyssa taught me to be stronger, braver, and more loving than I ever thought I could be. And that was just the beginning of a journey I wouldn’t trade for anything.